Aren’t we all afraid…. Of the moment when the shell that we have created around us, will shatter letting loose of all the emotions and feelings that we forced ourselves not to feel…. That we forced ourselves not to think off….. Every single tear that we held back…. Every smile that we faked….. Every single “I AM OKAY” we uttered…..
Everything crashing down with a single blow….. Breaking through every atom of our body…. Not being able to withstand the after damage…. When it’s too late to go back…. When we are too broken to move forward….. Stuck in the very place from where we began.
We are all broken from the inside….. The difference is that the few of us accept our reality….. While other continue to live in denial….. Till we face the final blow….. Too overwhelming….. The damage is unrepairable.
PAIN is something we all come across at least once in our life, but only few actually experience it. While most of us are to coward to face it building a wall, too high to climb on, too thick to peak through.
We choose to fence ourselves in denial, hoping that maybe one day when we will drop our boundaries, the pain would have gone. But it NEVER does.
It lingers around the corner, accumulating, gathering every feeling of suffering, guilt, regret, anxiety, fear and everything else that can lead you towards misery……WAITING……until the wave is too strong….. too high that it forces its way through every blockage, flooding our consciousness all at once, breaking us to the point where return is impossible.
Although at times it may seem that escape is a better solution but it never is. The only possible way to overcome pain is, to FEEL it.
No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much misery it inflicts, at the end of the day its intensity will slowly fade…. Things will change….. You will be able to feel alive.
Just allow the pain to settle in before you pluck it out of your system…. Because other wise it will continue to feed off of your guilt…. Anger…. Anxiety….. Self hate and will root itself soo deeply inside you that escape from it would become impossible.
The process is slow and torturous but it better to slowly heal then to shatter completely, once and for all.